


Be Concerned

by Ieavethecity



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Grief, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, honestly a lotta angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ieavethecity/pseuds/Ieavethecity
Summary: Eleven is pregnant. Beyond being pregnant, she's absolutely terrified of what is happening with her body. Having recently lost Hopper, how will she navigate through this difficult time?
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, mileven - Relationship
Comments: 80
Kudos: 81





	1. melancholy fog

**Author's Note:**

> hi there! before you start reading, i wanted to talk for a moment about how this story is a bit on the dark side. it brings up underage sex, teen pregnancy, past sexual assault, grief, and many other things that may bother or trigger you. please do not read this if it will negatively affect you in any way! also, if you are going to leave unconstructive criticism & / or hate, please do not bother. anyway, thank you for reading this :) have a lovely day

After moving from Hawkins, Eleven and the Byers found themselves a small but comfortable home in Columbus, Ohio. It was just close enough Hawkins to make for an easy day drive to visit during the holidays, but just far enough to feel as though the family was beginning anew. Given Indiana and Ohio were neighboring states, it also had a comfortable familiarity about it.

A soft, comfortably cool breeze pushed through an open window, allowing for the Sun to dance on her skin. El softly sturred from her sleep, pulling the baby blue blanket from her body. The room felt far too warm- almost sickeningly so.

It was the middle of September now, the 15th to be specific. The once vibrantly green trees were now turning less and less alive as each day passed, guaranteeing hopes of the colorful fall ahead.

The smell of bacon further awoke the sleepy El- but instead of being greeted by a sweet promise of breakfast, Eleven was greeted with a strong wave of nausea violently washing over her body.

Quickly, the young girl got to her feet, bursting out of her room. She hurriedly stumbled across the hallway and into the bathroom, hand covering her mouth as it filled with acidic sickness. 

She violently hurled once she got to the toilet, although hardly anything but stomach acid came up given she had yet to eat breakfast. 

"El? Honey- Are you alright?" A concerned Joyce asked from the hallway as she walked to the bathroom, only to be answered with the sound of strong gagging. 

Slowly, the older brunette walked to El, putting a comforting hand on her back. Eleven's face still hovered over the bowl, looking pale and absolutely miserable.

"You okay? If you're sick, I can stay home from work." Joyce softly offered. She figured it was just a stomach bug- possibly even some food poisoning. With the (at times strange) concoctions of food El enjoyed eating, Joyce wouldn't be at all surprised if she'd gotten sick from one of her odd meals 

"I-It's okay," Eleven said as she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, finally pulling away from the toilet. "I just didn't feel that well. I'm okay now." El tried to say with a very faint, non-convincing smile. Joyce felt something was off, but she couldn't exactly word her suspicions.

Joyce smiled back slightly, helping Eleven stand to her feet. As soon as she was properly stood up, Joyce put the back of her hand to El's forehead. 

Joyce's lips were temporarily drawn to a thin line. "Hmm... You don't seem to have a fever." She said. "... And you're sure you're okay?" 

Eleven nodded as Joyce's hand fell from her forehead. 

"Okay then." Joyce finally said with a kind smile. She took a step back, giving the girl some space. "I have to go to work, but there's bacon and eggs already cooked, and there's a box of Eggo's in the freezer." 

Eleven nodded yet again. "Okay. When will you be back?" She quietly asked. The feeling of nausea was beginning to fade, but still, it had a rather strong hold on her stomach.

"Around four or so. The Giant Eagle phone number is on the fridge if you need to call me." Joyce replied with a small smile, then beginning to head out of the bathroom. 

Eleven still had yet to fully memorize the number. As of late, she'd been in a weird state of depression; one which made it hard to even want to attempt to remember the number. A persistent numbness and unwillingness to want to even get out of bed. It felt as though she had a constant melancholy fog around her, one that had an impossibly tight hold on Eleven's being. 

Joyce had noticed it. Hell, she even felt it herself at times. Losing Hopper was an absolute and merciless gut punch... But she knew she had to be strong. She had three kids to care for, which set things into perspective. Still, though, she did sometimes awake in the middle of the night thinking about him. 

Eleven leaned on the bathroom doorway's frame as she watched down the dim hallway, seeing Joyce grab her car keys from the table before hearing the door open. 

"Bye, guys! Be good! I'll be back later." Joyce called before finally leaving, exiting the home with a solid door slam. 

Before leaving the bathroom, El flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She still felt so strange. 

Eleven slowly made her way down the hallway. She spotted Will eating at the table. Across from him sat Jonathan, who was busy circling ads in a newspaper. 

Both brothers looked over at El, noticing her disheveled appearance. A slightly awkward silence fell over the three.

"Uh... there isn't any more milk left, but um-" Jonathan uncomfortably glanced to Will "-you can drink some orange juice if you want." 

God- why was he acting so strangely? It was as though he was stepping on eggshells, being extra careful with his words and how they were spoken. And fuck, why did it annoy Eleven so much? She thought they'd moved past treating her as though she were a baby.

"Thanks..." Eleven finally mumbled before walking into the kitchen, bare feet pressed against cold tile. She grabbed an apple, deciding that would be a suitable attempt at breakfast given her stomach was still upset. 

Without saying another word, Eleven walked back to her bedroom with the apple. She closed her door with a deep sigh, looking around her small peach-colored room with heavy eyes. 

The simple act of just closing her door made her feel slightly icky. It managed to only remind her of how she no longer had her powers, which managed to remind her  _ why _ she no longer had her powers. 

Eleven looked to the small desk against her wall. There were comics neatly placed on the right-hand side. Those comics were Max's farewell gift- a meaningful one that comforted Eleven in a way so primal, she could hardly explain it. 

Next to those comics sat Hopper's hat, always there and always waiting. Somehow, it felt like a cruel joke to have the belongings of a deceased loved one. You can have their things, but you cannot have them. What a shitty joke. 

Eleven walked over to the desk, drawing her eyes to the calendar hung on the wall. 

September 6th had a large red dot drawn on with a sharpie marker. Eleven brought her finger to the date with a small frown. Had she missed her period? Although she was young, she did have a decently regular schedule. The fifteen-year-old had never had a period this late... and so she started to worry.

Eleven was thirteen when she had gotten her first period, during which time she had still been in the forest. 

After seeing the blood in her underwear, she genuinely and full-heartedly believed she was dying. Killer cramps certainly didn't help in Eleven's belief that the grave was soon to come... but five days later, there she was, still very much so alive. 

Thankfully, she didn't have to stay in the forest much longer after that. She allowed Hopper to find her and take her in.

The next time she had her period, she had awoken Hopper with violently loud sobs after getting up and seeing the bloodied sheets in the early morning. The girl believed she was, again, dying. 

Hopper handled the situation as well as he could. First, he reassured El that she was not dying. Then, he washed the sheets. While they were in the washer, he explained to her (to the best of his abilities) what limited information he had on the female biology. Given he was married once before, he had the general picture of what a period was. 

He had told El to hop in the shower so he could leave for the store. There, he bought pads. When he came back, he talked with Eleven about how to use the pads, giving her the lovely "you're a woman now" speech, the one which was often designated unfairly so to mothers. The whole time, he felt  _ incredibly _ uncomfortable- but he knew it was important for El to know this information.

Ever since then, Eleven knew to handle her period on her own. She hadn't known exactly  _ why _ she had them (not until Max later explained to her that it had to do with an unfertilized egg), she just knew they were normal and happened every month. 

Having Max as a friend was helpful, given she told El what her mother had told her. She gave Eleven some of the much-needed information that Hopper simply couldn't supply due to his limited knowledge. It was a real blessing in disguise that Max had a mother who thought education on the female body was necessary.

Eleven felt a seedling of anxiety sprout in her chest as she gazed at the red dot. She absolutely could not go to Jonathan or Will for help... and  _ fuck, _ she really didn't want to go to Joyce either. 

But still. The worry was there. And where there's worry, there must be a logical reasoning behind said anxiety, right?

El set down the apple on the desk, walking across her room and to the dresser. She got out a pair of jeans, some underwear, a grey t-shirt, and a grey-toned flannel to go over that. Showers usually helped El to center herself, to calm down, and to just generally feel better. 

She chewed the inside of her cheek as she walked from her bedroom. 

_ What could a lack of a period mean? Did it mean she was dying? Was it normal? Would she ever have a period again? What was wrong with her? _

Questions bounced around her mind as she set her clothes down in the sink, closing the door behind her before starting the shower. 

And fuck- why did her chest hurt so much? The tissue felt bruised and painful to the touch. Usually, a few days before or during her period, Eleven's breasts would hurt as they did now. But now- they hurt far more. It was a dull pain, yes, but it was incredibly deep, something that only further alarmed her. 

As the shower heated up, Eleven undressed. She looked at her body in the mirror, frowning as she noticed how bloated her normally flat stomach looked. She put a hand over her tummy, frowning ever-so-slightly more. Hell- even her chest looked larger. That seedling of anxiety was growing far faster now. 

The longer she looked at her body, the more concerned she grew. She could feel the roots of that damn seed spreading throughout her body... down her spine, her legs, and to her toes. 

The mirror began to get foggy, blurring Eleven's body from view. And so she got into the shower, the warm water greeting her skin pleasantly. 

With a luffa covered in strawberry smelling soap, Eleven ran her hand over her stomach. Something was wrong. The red warning lights in her mind began flashing- the error code began blaring, warning something was terribly amiss. 

Deep inside, Eleven sensed something was very wrong.


	2. the talk

The day passed slowly, each hour seeming to stretch and stretch until they blurred into one another. 

After her shower, Eleven had decided to stay in her room. There, she had cleaned and made her bed, also reading English books and answering a few math sheets. Though it was summer, El still carried her academics throughout the year given how much she had to catch up with.

The catching up wasn't the problem for her, neither was the difficulty of the work. Even though Eleven was an intelligent girl, it was the amount of work she had that bothered her. She couldn't express how terrible it felt to think the only power you had left was your intelligence, and that that wasn't even enough to keep you on top of the piles of knowledge you had yet to obtain. 

Sighing softly, legs crossed whilst she sat on her bed, El looked from her window. The sky was blue with large, almost impossibly white clouds slowly crawling their way across. 

The house Joyce had bought had a densely wooded forest in the back yard, which Eleven had a perfect view of from her bedroom. It was nice to look outside and see the occasional deer, bird, or some other forest critter, and to just watch them live their lives. 

The dog, Bandit, scratched at Eleven's door to be let in. The dog had grown rather fond of the brunette, often sleeping on her floor or sometimes even on the foot of her bed. 

Eleven stood up and opened the door, seeing the shaggy dog looking up at her with loving brown eyes. A very small smile pulled to the end of her lips as she ruffled the fur on the dog's head, then moving aside so he could come in. 

Eleven glanced at the clock hanging on her wall.  _ 3:43 pm. _ A quiet sigh escaped from between her lips. There was a part of her that wanted Joyce to already be home so she could speak with her, but there was another part of her that wanted Joyce to stay gone longer. It felt like her mind was made of oil and water, an incredibly unpleasant feeling. 

Her eyes again landed on the calendar. She walked to it, dropping the paper for August down to reveal the month of July. She felt her heart beating in her ears as she realized she hadn't had a period in July either. She had simply forgotten to keep track- given Hopper's death and moving to a new state, saying goodbye to all of her friends, she had other things occupying her mind. 

The idea of talking about her missed periods to a woman old enough to be her mother was a bit uncomfortable, and El didn't even know why. Shame? Perhaps embarrassment? Or maybe it's stress... Whatever it was, the thought made El's mouth go dry. 

When talking with Max, it was easier- mostly because they were already friends. That, and Max had a lot of answers to give. 

Eleven made her way back over to her bed, reaching over and grabbing a comic from her nightstand. She felt ill. Both in body and mind. 

_ Knock knock. _

El looked to the doorway to see a slightly uncomfortable looking Will standing there. 

"My mom called during her break and wanted me to make sure you're... uh,  _ actually _ okay." He finally croaked out. He glanced down to the dark, wooden flooring for a moment before looking back up to meet her dark-eyed gaze

Eleven smiled just a bit before nodding "I'm okay. I was just sick. I'm better now." Her words sounded true, but also stiff- as though she, herself, didn't believe them. 

Will's fiddled with his hands as he stood there, but he nodded, acknowledging her words. 

"Well, umm, my mom also wanted me to tell you she wants to rent a movie tonight." He added 

He had spotted her lie with ease. Although El was a fantastic liar when the time called for it, Will was also pretty wise when it came to noticing mistruths. Maybe that had to do with his father constantly lying to him, maybe he was just born with the trait.

"What movie?" El asked

"Um, she didn't say. I think she wanted us to pick one out with her?" Will said, flashing a small smile of uncertainty 

Eleven nodded before glancing down to the comic she held. From that, Will sensed their conversation was coming to a close. 

"So yeah, I guess I'll see you later." He finally said before departing from the doorway. 

Eleven glanced at the spot where he once stood. Speaking with Will was always a bit strange. Their conversations felt like an ill-fitted jacket. That isn't to say they aren't friends, because they are. She wasn't as close to him as she was to the other boys- but they are friendly with one another. 

Bandit softly whined from the floor until El patted the blanket that made the bed, giving the pup permission to join her. 

Eleven had always found animals to be incredibly interesting. While they sometimes frightened her (especially the animals that were back at the lab), they also sparked a level of curiosity. Suppose in another life, she may have been a vet.

One could speak to a dog and the dog would seemingly understand what the person was saying. Maybe that's what interested El most- the fact a different species could understand another language on some level. 

Bandit laid next to her, putting his head on her thigh. While El read the comic, on which was actually rather interesting, she found herself absentmindedly stroking the dog's soft fur. 

. . . 

Dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and bread) came about quickly. Eleven, even though she wasn't very hungry, had managed to eat some potatoes as she listened to Joyce recall that which happened during her workday

"But enough about me, what was your guys' day like?" Joyce finally asked, only to be met with a shrug from both Jonathan and Will 

"Pretty boring." Jonathan said. "I found some places for interviews tomorrow, though." He added 

"That's good!" Joyce said with a bright, encouraging smile. For whatever reason, it had been difficult for Jonathan to find a job in Columbus. Although it was incredibly similar to Hawkins, it was also rather different in a way that was hard to pinpoint. 

"What about you, hun?" Joyce asked, bringing her attention to Will, who only again shrugged 

"I drew a bit. That's about all." Will said dismissively. He didn't really feel like talking- not now. 

Joyce nodded before growing quiet a moment. "So," She glanced at Eleven.  "I've been meaning to bring this up." A slightly tense blanket enclosed the family, one that only caused El to feel that anxiety root it's way through her body again

"School will be starting in a few weeks," Joyce said, glancing between Will and El. "I want to do some back-to-school shopping soon..." She hesitated a moment, glancing down at her plate of food. "... for the both of you." 

Eleven frowned as she looked to Joyce "What?" She asked. She  _ thought _ she understood what the older brunette was saying... but maybe she just misinterpreted? 

"I want you to go to school with Will." Joyce finally said. By her tone, it could be told that she'd thought a lot about this- which she had. She had concluded only recently that it would probably be safe for Eleven to get an education in an actual school environment- given they were in a different state. Not only that, but Joyce felt she wasn't providing enough for the young girl educationally speaking. 

Eleven's mouth fell slightly ajar "...I can't." She finally said. 

"I think you can." Joyce encouraged with a soft smile. "You're crazy smart, Eleven. I'm sure you'd be totally fine in a school setting." 

Although it was strongly apparent by the look of shock on El's face that she did not agree one bit, she remained quiet. 

"Plus, you'll have Will with you the entire time. He will help you if you ever need it. Won'tcha, honey?" Joyce asked, sending a glance her son's way. Will frowned but nodded 

"I mean- Yes, but mo-" 

"Will, I've thought this over for a while now. The whole reason we moved here was for a fresh start." Joyce said, growing quite a moment only to again speak. "I think it'll be good for El." 

"But how does Eleven feel?" Jonathan quietly asked. He- although often quiet- usually played devil's advocate, especially in conversations like this. 

Joyce looked to Eleven expectantly, but only earned an unsure frown. 

"Speak your mind, El. Nothing's set in stone just yet." Joyce said softly 

"I don't... think it's a good idea. I like learning here." She said simply- even though it was a lie. She loved learning but hated learning at home. She felt closed off to the entire world. Why she didn't think it was a good idea- she wasn't really sure. It just  _ felt _ like it was a bad idea. 

"Well, umm..." Joyce let a soft sigh out before smiling a bit and nodding. "How about this. You can go for a semester, and if you still don't like it, we can continue teaching you at home." She said.

Eleven paused, chewing this idea over before finally nodding. "Alright." 

. . . 

Dinner ended soon after their conversation about school. Will had gone off to his room and Jonathan had gone shopping for some needed groceries, leaving Joyce and Eleven in one another's company 

As Eleven helped clean up the table, a part of her realized now would be the right time to ask what's wrong with her body for her to not be having a period... But the thought of doing so made her pulse quicken. 

"Joyce?" Eleven asked, voice coming out small and unfamiliar to her own ears 

Joyce turned from the sink where she'd begun soaking plates, glancing over to the younger girl. 

"What's up, hun?" She asked in a chirpy, pleasant tone 

Eleven felt her chest growing tighter again. She swallowed, but it was painful due to the lack of moister in her mouth. She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked to a notepad on the counter. Her hands tightened into fists as she glanced to Joyce, who was growing concerned

"Is everything okay, El?" Joyce gently asked. She could tell by the lack of color in the younger girl's face that something was chewing at her. 

Eleven walked to the counter- opening a drawer and pulling out a pen. Maybe it would be a bit easier to write it out... and so she did on the notepad, Joyce patiently watching her do so. 

_ 'I didn't have a period'  _ written in sloppy, shaky handwriting with large and uneven lettering. Eleven looked down at the note, feeling a strong cocktail of emotion beginning to cluster within her. Was this the right thing to do? Was it too late to turn back?

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's alright," Joyce said in a soft tone. She was trying to comfort her, but given she didn't know what was wrong, that was difficult to do. 

Eleven swallowed down again before slowly sliding the notepad over to Joyce. She kept her gaze firmly held on the ground, not wanting to look at Joyce as she read it. 

Silence fell between the two as Joyce read the note. 

God- El could feel how burning crimson red her cheeks and ears were- especially as Joyce looked at her. 

"That's okay." The older woman said smoothly, causing El to look up at her. "I'm really glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me." She added with a small smile. "Missing your period is normal, especially when you're young." 

Eleven finally began to feel some relief. Her shoulders dropped slightly, some of the embarrassment left her cheeks. This hadn't been as terrible as she had envisioned. "How many... will I miss?" 

This question caused Joyce to frown. It made it sound as though she had missed multiple, which  _ wasn't _ normal...

"Hun..." Joyce walked a bit closer to El. She put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "What do you mean? Have you missed more than one?" She asked

Eleven felt her pulse quicken- enough so that she could hear her heart beating loudly in her ear. The anxious energy was beginning to again return. Was it a bad thing she'd missed her periods? Slowly, though, she nodded. 

Joyce's mouth fell slightly ajar, a mix of confusion, concern, and wonder appearing on her face. She knew what question she  _ wanted _ to ask Eleven... but she couldn't bring herself to do so. It, to Joyce, felt unimaginable that a 15-year-old would even know what sex is- let alone what it can create. 

"Listen, Eleven..." Joyce took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She smiled softly to the girl before her, giving her shoulder a small squeeze 

"Have you and Mike ever...?" Joyce asked softly. The question felt wrong to be asking- but it needed to get out of the way. 

Eleven frowned "Ever what?" The girl softly asked, sounding so incredibly innocent. It almost made Joyce feel bad for even wondering. Had Eleven even had the sex talk? She wouldn't be very surprised if she hadn't.

"Ever... had..." Joyce let her hand fall from El's shoulder. She looked down, sighing before looking back up. "Have you and Mike ever had sex?" Joyce finally asked, talking a bit faster than she intended once she spat it out. Hell- the question felt so very wrong to ask- so insanely invasive. 

Eleven frowned a bit, swallowing awkwardly only to again feel an uncomfortable pain in her throat again return. "...  _ Sex _ ?" Just by the way Eleven repeated the word, Joyce could tell she was unfamiliar with the concept. 

"Eleven, honey... Come sit down with me at the table."


	3. realization

Once the two were sat across from each other at the table, Joyce gave Eleven an attempt at a warm smile. She cared a lot for Eleven, and that's what made it easier to push past the uncomfortable awkwardness the two faced once sat down in front of one another 

"Sex... Is something that happens between a man and a woman," Joyce began to explain, ignoring the other forms of sex, such as between a woman and another woman or a man and another man. She simply didn't feel it was important to go into further detail- not given the current situation.

Eleven watched Joyce with an almost constant look of concern mixed with confusion as she explained as quickly but as thoroughly as possible what sex was and what it could result in. 

The whole time, Eleven simply sat there, occasionally nodding when Joyce asked if she understood. While she did understand, it was still completely baffling to her. Eleven did know what sex was... just not the proper terminology, nor what it could result in.

"El, having...  _ sex _ ... is kinda like making a cake-in some ways. You need certain things to mix together to result in a batter, which you put in the oven to turn into a cake over time... But when the timer runs out, instead of a cake, you get a baby." Joyce finally said. 

She wished she could have come up with a better analogy, but baking a cake seemed innocent compared to the subject matter. The woman was red in the face, elbows on the table as she looked to the younger girl across from her. 

"Do you understand, Eleven?" 

"Yes." Eleven replied, because she truly did understand. What information Joyce had given her soaked right in with ease... But that's not to say it did anything to release any of anxiety El had been struggling with. 

"So..." Joyce had the slightly ruffled aspect of a sea bird blown off its course as she spoke. She took a deep breath, slow and steady "...Did you and Mike have... sex?" 

"...Yes." Eleven finally answered, dropping her eyes to the wooden table the two sat at. Her eyes were pricked with tears of fear, tears of deep realization- realization that hit her like a wave- pulling her under and into frigid waters. She quickly blinked the tears away before they could fall, swallowing deeply in an attempt to conceal them.

The color from Joyce's face temporarily fled. Realization hit her hard as well, then worry. She'd, of course, heard of teen mothers before, but the concept was alien in some lights. She could not fathom the idea of Will having a kid. God- she felt out of breath. No, she felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her. But she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her. 

"We're going to go to the doctors tomorrow, just to be sure." Joyce told Eleven softly. 

"Honey-" She reached over, taking El's small hand into her own. "Whatever happens, I want you to know it  _ will _ be alright. You are  _ so, so _ very strong, Eleven. I'll be here for you- no matter what." She spoke from the heart. Joyce loved Eleven, plain and simple, and she would do whatever she needed to to make sure the young girl was alright. 

After Hopper's death, Joyce promised herself she'd look out for Eleven. This was her keeping that promise.

A tear quickly fell from Eleven's eye, causing her to look down and at the wooden table she sat at. "Thank you." She said weakly, voice ever-so-slightly nasally sounding. She didn't want to speak, but thanking Joyce for her kindness felt like it was necessary. 

Joyce sent her a loving, kind smile as she nodded. She felt as though enough had happened today... Perhaps tomorrow would be the right time to go over Eleven's options- because she did need to know that she had options. 

However, it was getting late. Now definitely wasn't the time or place. 

. . . 

Night came slowly for Columbus, but once she arrived, she tightly gripped the town in darkness. Joyce had decided against having a movie, instead, she spent her time searching in a phone book for a place she could take Eleven to get checked out. El had slipped away into her room, needing some time to herself to decompress and digest all that had happened in less than 12 hours.

The events of the day played themselves over in El's mind as she laid there on her bed, Bandit sleeping peacefully at her side. She looked up at the textured ceiling, making faces out of the shadows. Darkness brought with it something heavy- something that seemed to squish the good thoughts out. 

_ And for the sake of your poor, ol' dad... keep the door open three inches... _

She felt hot tears prick her eyes almost immediately- ones that were impossible to hold back in the darkness. 

Hopper would probably be so ashamed of her- he might have even left her some place. The thought of Hopper's reaction made El feel absolutely  _ rotten _ \- The thought of what he would say to her made her skin crawl and her stomach twist- made a violent sob absolutely wreck her body.

And what would Mike think? How would she even tell him?! The two spoke often still, sometimes even writing letters when what they wanted to say couldn't be spoken out loud... But from what Eleven now understood, pregnancy wasn't something you could just brush off, nor was it something you could tell over the phone or in a letter. He would probably hate her. Maybe he wouldn't ever want to speak to her again.

Bandit nuzzled into Eleven's leg, tearing her momentarily away from her violently screaming thoughts- her red thoughts, her bold thoughts. Everything in her was shrieking to her that this was  _ bad _ . Terrible.  _ Fucking catastrophic _ , even.

Now, more than ever, El wanted to be able to hug Hopper. To wrap her arms around him, to cry into his chest and to be promised that things would be okay (even if the promise was false). But she didn't have that- and to the best of her knowledge, she never would ever again. 

No more bedtime stories, no more early morning Eggo's with an absurd amount of whipped cream. No more bearhugs, no more stupid dad jokes that always made El laugh even if she rolled her eyes. No more childhood, no more  _ him _ . 

Hopper and Eleven's childhood had one thing in common. Both were seemingly dead, no matter how many times you wished otherwise on shooting stars in the moonlight. 

Another sob wrecked Eleven's small frame, causing her cheeks to grow wet from the trails of tears and her nose to go red from constantly wiping it. She was fucked, and now she's majorly fucked. What a concept. 

Bandit stood up now, the shaggy dog beginning to lick away El's tears until she smiled just the tiniest bit and gently pushed him away. She sat up on the bed, looking at the dog with a small frown. 

This animal should hate her as much as she now feels she should hate herself... And yet he didn't. There, across from her, the dog panted with an almost smile pulled to his face in the moonlight, simply glad to be in her presence. 

God- her head felt like it was throbbing- the way it felt when she overused her powers. But she had no power to use now. Remembering that fact was enough to make her feel unpleasant energy go down her spine, one that made her pulse quicken and her stomach twist. 

She looked out of her window- out to the navy blue sky. Stars danced and the man in the moon smiled, oblivious to the girl below who had just had her life completely turned around for what felt to be the hundredth time. Oh, to be as ignorant as the stars above.

Loud thoughts passed through her mind as she sat there, looking into the seemingly neverending sky. Thoughts of her future to come, thoughts of her past. Hell, even thoughts of her present. It was really only then that she realized how truly strange her life was. How her life was comparable to the books Hopper used to read her before bed, or the comics Max would read with her. 

She positively knew she wouldn't be in this situation, (not just not being pregnant but her life so far as a whole) if she hadn't ever been taken by Hawkins National Laboratory as a baby. It was easy to think about the different possibilities she may have encountered if only one thing had happened differently.

Why had Eleven and Mike had sex in the first place? Well, it started off simply enough. Hopper had gone off to work and Mike had snuck over. 

At first, it started with soft kisses, which gradually became hotter, more passionate, and more desperate. And then something just sorta clicked, like magnets pulling together 

It was his smile that made it all seem truly alright. It was the soft smirk Mike would flash to Eleven before leaning in to kiss her again, the one that made her heart almost skip a beat. He had asked if Eleven was alright with what it was he would be doing to her, and she answered yes with a bright smile. 

And yes, it could be blamed on teenage hormones and a lack of sex education that led to Eleven falling pregnant. But there was more to it than just chemicals being released in the two teen's brains. 

Eleven had been sexually abused multiple times while at HNL.

See, Dr. Brenner wanted to see how far he could push people without physically hurting them. Somehow, physical torture was off-limits in his mind. Mental, emotional, and sexual abuse were all fair game if it meant breaking a person in a way that wouldn't leave marks- at least ones that weren't visible. 

Brenner would force himself on Eleven, only to claim it would help her as a frantically sobbing Eleven would push him away. He knew that the sexual abuse had a way of breaking a person that simply couldn't be matched.

It would result in paranoia and mistrust, sleepless nights only to be followed by night terrors. Mental and emotional manipulation was the best thing Brenner could do to control El. It would destroy a person in the most primal way, starting from the inside out like a disease, eating until there was nothing left except for memories and self-blame. 

It was his favorite way to control a person; especially, if the person was under 13. And no one did a thing to stop him or the other men. 

Choosing not to notice and choosing not to do something are two completely different things in their minds. The abuse yielded quick submission, which was an important ingredient in making a person like Eleven, and so they allowed it. 

As long as you didn't pay attention to  _ how _ results were being made _ , _ everything seemed to go by a whole lot easier. For those not being abused, of course. 

El sometimes thought about what Brenner did to her- late at night when it was hard to fall back to sleep. 

Even though she hated thinking about him- she hated the part of herself that could still remember his silhouette in the doorway, the smell of cigarette smoke lingered on his clothing, and the way his calloused hands felt on her skin even more. It was still all so very vivid. Fuck- she could still feel his hands on her without even having to close her eyes.

And so that was another element that added to the reason why Eleven's present was the way it is now. That isn't to suggest what happened July 2nd, between Mike Wheeler and Eleven Hopper wasn't consensual, but it is to say there's more to the situation than just horny teens. Isn't there always more to a situation?

Eleven eventually laid back down, putting her head on her pillow and just closing her eyes. Bandit curled up next to her, resting his head on her leg. Maybe if she stayed still long enough- with closed eyes and steady breathing- she would be able to manage some sleep much needed. Just maybe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy! just wanted to mention this for those who may be unaware  
> i plan on updating this story every wednesday with some spontaneous updates thrown in occasionally. 
> 
> oh, & if you have any constructive criticisms, feel free to share them with me! im always looking to improve haha.  
> anyway, have a lovely day :)


	4. the happening

Eleven had managed to fall asleep, even though it didn't last very long. Her dreams (which were hardly even really dreams) were constantly cut into by her tossing or turning, pulling the blanket closer or kicking it off completely. 

Eventually, El fell tired of trying to fall back to sleep. The sun had only just begun to rise, bringing with it a deep-rooted feeling of anxiety as she laid there. What was the day going to bring with it? 

El slowly sat up, running a hand through her messy hair. Her head still ached a bit, but it did feel slightly clearer. The little sleep she had gotten must've done something- a slight stop-and-reset. 

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Eleven sat there for a few moments, looking down at the dark wooden flooring. Slowly, she placed a small hand over her stomach. Everything felt like it was about to change- only El couldn't tell if it'd be for better or worse. It was an incredibly strong feeling of unease, a mixture of excitement and anxiety.

Standing up from the bed, her feet pressed against the cool wooden floors. She glanced at Bandit, smiling just a bit at the sleeping pup before glancing outside her window. 

The sky had a heavy with a cool tint to it. The clouds were thick and grey, warning of rain to come later that day. Eleven stared out of the window a little while longer before walking over to her dresser, fishing out an outfit for the day. 

She glanced at her alarm clock, seeing it was only 7:43 in the morning. Followed by the realization of the long day ahead, a soft sigh escaped her lips. 

With her clothes bundled up in her arm, she walked into the bathroom, feet being greeted with even colder tile. She set her clothes in the sink, then turned to turn the shower on. A hot shower would probably help, right?

While the water warmed, she undressed. This time, she could only manage small glances into the mirror at her body. It felt as though if she stared too long, she would receive some unpleasant whiplash- or some form of panic bubbling to the surface. It was scary not knowing what was happening, especially when the happening was inside of your body.

Her stomach didn't look any different... not unless you looked incredibly closely at the very small ridge just below her belly button. If you didn't know she was pregnant, you definitely wouldn't be able to tell.

Soon, the mirror was fogged over with steam from the shower, which was El's alert to hop in.

Once she was inside, she just stood under the showerhead, allowing for the hot water to run down her body. The water felt comforting- like a warm blanket on a chilly day or a cup of hot cocoa between cold hands. It made it hard for her to want to get out, especially given what she would have to face once she did so. 

But she knew her shower couldn't last forever- especially not when Joyce, Jonathan, and Will would probably be up soon, assuming they weren't already. 

The worry of taking too long was enough to get her to hurry up in the shower, turning it off. She got dressed in a light-blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of baggy blue jeans, and some fluffy socks. It was a comfortable outfit, one that gave her the appearance of a regular teenager.

Once she was finished up in the bathroom, she walked out whilst combing through her hair. The smell of french toast was what hit her first, a welcomed surprise. She hadn't realized how hungry she'd become until only then. 

She quietly made her way into the kitchen, spotting Joyce standing with her back to her at the stove. She wasn't wearing her work uniform, which surprised Eleven slightly considering it was a workday.

Joyce turned to place a now-cooked piece of french toast on a plate, only to yelp when she spotted Eleven standing there. She flashed a smile of apology "Goodness, you scared the daylights out of me, El." 

Eleven smiled faintly before nodding, a blush of embarrassment finding it's way to her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said simply, glancing to the ground before glancing back to Joyce

Joyce glanced over to her with a warm smile, one that wordlessly said 'it's fine.' 

"Do you want some french toast?" She asked

"Yes, please." El said before taking a seat on the counter. Joyce glanced over to her for a quick second, observing just how childish she looked sat there, legs swinging ever-so-slightly. Seeing her like that made her stomach fill with dread. Was Eleven ready to become a mother? To have a tiny human rely on her for it's existence?

A silence fell between the two, one that wasn't exactly uncomfortable. It was just... silence. Other than the frying sound the egg-soaked bread made when it touched the pan, there wasn't anything to be heard. 

That was until Jonathan walked into the kitchen, already looking slightly flustered even though it was clear he'd only just woken up. 

"Hey- Mom? Do you know where my suit is?" He asked blankly "Or like, what box it may be in?" 

"Umm," Joyce softly hummed, spatula in hand as she turned towards him "Maybe check the basement. If it's not there, it's probably in the garage." 

Even though they'd lived in Columbus for a few weeks while now, boxes with random, unimportant things such as headphones, blankets, and some cooking utensils had yet to be taken out of their cardboard homes.

Jonathan nodded, before quickly walking off to the basement door, opening it and disappearing down the stairs. 

"Joyce?" El asked

"Yeah?" Joyce replied, flipping over the piece of french toast with her spatula 

"Did..." She hesitated a moment "We're going to the doctors, right?" Eleven asked quietly. She was sure she could trust Joyce in setting up an appointment, but having verification was nice 

"Yes we are. We're gonna go it at 12 to get you all checked out." Joyce said, looking over to Eleven for a moment 

Eleven bit the inside of her lower lip for a moment before nodding. 

"Oh- and Joyce?" 

"Hmm?"

"Can I have some Eggo's?"

. . . 

The waiting room was icky-feeling to say the least. The stale-aired room was lit with bright LED lights that strained El's eyes, ones that occasionally flickered. The lights made it harder for her to read her comic, which made having a distraction rather difficult. The walls were a concentrated yolk color adorned with paintings of landscapes. Icky.

Joyce busied herself by reading a magazine, one El would occasionally glance over to. Were magazines just boring comics for adults? Eleven didn't get the chance to asked. 

"Jane Hopper?" A friendly-looking, spectacled nurse with curly blonde hair called out from the doorway, clipboard in hand. 

Joyce glanced over to El, smiling softly to her "That's us." She said, standing up along-side Eleven. She set the magazine down on the coffee table before her, then beginning to walk. 

Once walking, Eleven couldn't take her eyes from the dark blue carpet below her. She could feel her pulse rising in the back of her throat, along with an awkward dryness in her mouth.

"Oh- stop here, sweetie." The nurse- who's nametag read 'DEBORAH' in thick, black lettering- said with a smile. "We have to get your height and weight." 

El's jaw closed tightly, but she did as told. She allowed for the nurse to take her stats, all while Joyce watched quietly. 

"Alrighty then, follow me." Deborah said once she filled out her questions on the clipboard. 

Deborah led the two into a small, baby-blue room which smelled entirely too strongly of cleaning supplies.

"You can take a seat right up there," Deborah said, pointing to a paper-covered examining table. Eleven did as told, folding her hands on her lap. "The doctor will be with you both soon." The nurse added before leaving, closing the door behind her as she did so. 

Joyce took a seat in a decently comfortable leather chair- one that sat next to the doctors desk. She could tell by the lack of color in Eleven's face that something was eating at her. 

"You okay, El?" Joyce softly asked. God- that felt like a stupid question. How could she be okay? If Joyce was in her position, she didn't think she would be alright in any sense. 

Somehow, though, Eleven managed a nod and an incredibly weak smile. 

"Y'know what I said yesterday- about me being here for you no matter what?" Joyce asked softly. 

Again, Eleven nodded, which pulled a thin smile to Joyce's lips. "Good. Because I mean that." She told her softly. 

Their conversation was cut short when someone knocked on the door, only to be revealed to be a small, young-looking woman in a white overcoat. Tucked underneath her left arm, she held a clipboard.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Janis." The woman, now known as Dr. Janis, greeted, sticking her hand out to Joyce to shake, then to Eleven. 

Dr. Janis took a small stool from under her desk, then sat down on it. She glanced between Joyce and Eleven, smiling softly to each of them as she set her clipboard down on the desk. "So, how can I help you today?"

"Well," Joyce began, with a small, wary smile. "We..." She hesitated a moment. Fuck- it was hard to speak. She cleared her throat. "We need a pregnancy test." 

Dr. Janis's smile faded slightly. She knew Eleven was only 15, given she took a mandatory glance at her birth certificate. She glanced to Eleven, to her stomach, then back to Joyce, only to have her smile strengthen. "Alright... We can do that."

Eleven looked down to the creamy, linoleum flooring. She could feel her face growing red. They didn't need a test to confirm what's going on in El's tummy, she could tell something was different. 

Dr. Janis stood up, clipboard again under her arm as she glanced to Joyce, then to Eleven. "I'm going to be right back." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, sorry for such a low-key shit chapter lmao   
> it was very rushed haha
> 
> i promise next week's will be longer & far less of a filler chapter, though! :)


	5. misplaced anxiety

As soon as the doctor left the room, Joyce looked over to Eleven. 

"How are you feeling?"

Eleven shrugged, keeping her gaze on a poster depicting the human nervous system. She wouldn't be able to describe how she felt- not even if she had the proper words to do so. 

She couldn't express the worry piling down on her. Worry that Mike will be angry, worry that the future is dark, worry that there's a part of her that's a little excited but that there's also another part that's utterly panicked. 

Maybe her slight excitement was just misplaced anxiety. Or- at least, that was what she told herself.

"That's okay, El. I'm sure things will be okay." Joyce said reassuringly. She could tell Eleven felt more than she allowed to be shown, which made her feel somewhat guilty. Like she wasn't being supportive enough.

Ten or so more minutes passed in silence, El taking the time to carefully read some of the posters on the wall depicting hearts, lungs, livers, and other organs. 

Then, there was a quick knock at the door that got both El and Joyce's attention peaked for when Dr. Janis, balancing a clear ziplock bag and a small cup on top of her clipboard. 

"Sorry for the wait." Janis said with a smile, taking a seat on her push stool. 

"Now this," Janis grabbed hold of the small plastic cup, allowing for Eleven to better view it. "is how we're gonna find out what's going on with you. But before we can do anything else, we need to get some answers about some of the things you've been feeling lately."

Eleven felt her mouth go dry, but she nodded nonetheless. 

"Alright, good." The doctor said with yet another smile, all bright and at ease. She held her clipboard up so she could more easily read it, then grabbed a pen from her breast pocket, clicking it once. 

"Let's get some of the easier ones out of the way. Have you ever had a menstrual cycle?"

. . . 

Questions like that continued for the next fifteen minutes, causing El to become more and more uncomfortable. Not that she showed her unease- the girl answered the questions as truthfully and cooly as possible. 

At the end of all the question-asking, Dr. Janis told her she now needed to go into a bathroom and fill that plastic cup she'd brought in with her with urine.

Although slightly weirded out, Eleven followed through with the doctor's instructions. 

She returned a few minutes later to an awkwardly silent room holding a small ziplock bag, one which had a pee-filled plastic cup inside.

Dr. Janis greeted her with a small smile, now standing up. She took the bag from her, then sent a glance to Joyce. 

"That's all we'll be needing for today. The results will be in soon. I know it's gonna be hard, but give it a few days and you should be receiving a call from our office." Then, the doctor excused herself, saying a quick goodbye before leaving the room. 

Joyce stood up, sending a warm smile to Eleven. The girl looked somewhat confused, almost as though she was expecting far more testing to occur. "That wasn't too bad, was it?"

Eleven shook her head, beginning to walk next to Joyce as they exited the room. "Finished?"

"Yep. Now we go home. You hungry?" Joyce asked, tone pleasantly friendly as always. Eleven could tell, though, that something was wrong. She could sense Joyce's unease; her own worry for the future. 

"Can we have Eggo's?" Eleven asked as the two boarded an elevator, Joyce smiling as she pressed the first floors button. 

"Of course we can." 

. . . 

The ride home was without a conversation. The radio was the only thing to supply any distraction, softly playing some folk song through its speakers. 

Joyce needed to talk to Eleven about her options. The thought of doing so made her stomach twist. It made everything feel far too real- like this wasn't just something that would blow over.

"Eleven?" Joyce asked, glancing to the girl sitting next to her whilst she drove. 

El didn't say anything, not that she needed to. She just sat up a little, meeting Joyce's quick glance with a glance of her own. 

"When we get home, we need to talk about some of your...  _ options _ ." Joyce said, nail beginning to pick at the light brown leather of the steering wheel. 

" _ Options _ ?" 

"Yeah. Like..." Joyce paused, taking a deep breath. "what you want to do moving forward. I think it would be better if we talked about what we can do before the test results are given to us."

Eleven didn't really know what that exactly entailed. She simply stayed quiet, allowing for her gaze to fall on the road before them. 

The rest of the car ride remained silent until Joyce pulled into the gravel driveway, causing for El to look over at her. "What are my ' _ options' _ ?" She asked. Joyce would prefer to have this conversation in-doors, but if El really wanted to have it in the car, she supposed she could do it her way.

"You have a few." Joyce said, turning the radio off before putting the car into park. She unbuckled, then readjusted herself so she could better face El.

"You can go with adoption. After you have the baby, she or he would be put with a different family to be raised." Joyce studied El's face as she said this, but the girl simply let on indifference. "Sometimes it can be arranged so you can still see the kid with visits." 

Eleven dropped her gaze, not thinking that was something she'd want to do, but she could see how it made sense.

"And then there's abortion." Joyce took a deep breath with this one, eyes going to the tree's visible behind their house from the driveway. "Given how early along you are, you'd probably be given four tiny pills. Those pills would induce something called a miscarriage." Joyce went quiet for a moment, again taking the time to read Eleven's face.

"Basically, El, you wouldn't have a baby after an abortion." Gently, Joyce took Eleven's hand into her own. She wanted to choose her words as carefully as possible. "It is totally your choice what we do. I just want you to be educated when it comes to what you decide to do." 

Joyce had chosen against mentioning she, herself, had had an abortion. It was a result of her knowing she wouldn't be able to properly care for a newborn on her own given she and Lonnie were no longer together. She also decided to have an abortion given how tight money already was raising two kids. She had chosen against telling anyone else what she'd decided to do.

"And of course, you can keep the baby. I'm not going to force you to do anything. I want to make it clear that raising a child is hard-  _ especially _ when you're young." Joyce gave El's hand a gentle squeeze. "But it isn't impossible." 

Eleven smiled just a bit, nodding. It was good to have choices. She understood- to some degree, at least- that having a child would change everything. If she were being honest with herself, she didn't exactly know what her future involved. 

"We don't have to discuss things any further until we know for sure whether or not you're actually pregnant." Joyce added, then letting go of El's hand. She could feel Eleven was growing tired of their conversation; which she found to be understandable. Conversations pertaining to one's future can be exhausting.

The younger girl nodded with an attempt at a smile, choosing now to try and swallow any negative feelings she felt brewing around in her being. Although things felt heavy, El knew she was strong. She could hold on a little longer, at least until they had a definitive answer (not that she really felt she needed a test to tell her she was expecting).

"Can we... go inside now?" Eleven asked softly, earning a nod and a smile from Joyce. 

Eleven was quick to get out of the car, already heading towards the porch as she heard Joyce's door slam shut. 

She wanted nothing more than to eat some Eggo's, take a long, preferably hot shower, get into some comfortable clothes, and contemplate what the fuck her future held for her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodness, im sorry for disappearing for a little while haha. this quarantine had me in a bit of a creative funk- but hey! im back now 
> 
> more regular updates are definitely gonna be popping up again :)
> 
> in the meantime, though, feel free to give me your thoughts or opinions on this chapter!
> 
> ps. sorry for the lowkey self-promo lmao, but you can follow me on tumblr for schedules pertaining to up-coming chapter updates, other works relating to stranger things, and there, you can also request a short story or headcanon! my @ there is 'maddestzoomer' :) anyway- sorry for all the rambling. i hope you have a fantastic day!


	6. those thoughts

Thankfully, Eleven had been able to shower and relax some. She opted to stay in her room for the time being, simply needing time to herself to think. 

What was going to happen to her future? How would Mike react? Hell- would she even be a good mom? What defines one being a good parent?

Laying back on her bed, thoughts, worries, and questions began to loudly swarm her mind. It was simply overwhelming. 

Eleven still had so much to learn about- things that didn't even relate to parenting or her changing body. 

She put a hand over her stomach, allowing for her eyes to close. Maybe she was just taking this from a bad angle. 

She'd never really worried about her future before, so why start now? Time and time again, Eleven has proven to herself that she is strong. She's lost so much already, maybe gaining something wouldn't be the absolute worst thing that could happen to her. 

But fuck if the worry didn't remain. Eleven sat up now, running a hand through her hair. She needed to get out of the house. 

Slipping on a pair of socks and then sneakers, El walked from her room and down the hallway. Joyce was sat on the couch, a cigarette perched between her lips as she read up on some book. Bandit was next to her, sleeping soundly with his head on the couch's arm

"Can I take Bandit out?" El asked softly, causing Joyce to flick her gaze to the girl a few feet away from her

"Oh, of course." She said with a smile. "His leash is by the door. Where will you be taking him?" Joyce asked, leaning over and tapping some ash off her cig into an ashtray 

"The woods." Eleven said simply, beginning to make her way towards the door. Joyce gave Bandit a little nudge before asking "Wanna go for a walk?" In something of a baby voice, which seemed to cause something to click for Bandit.

He jumped from the couch, tail wagging with little whines of excitement as he met El at the door, earning a small but pleased smile from the girl as she kneeled to put his collar on. 

Eleven felt she'd been far too cooped up these past few days, especially given the subject matter thats been taking up such a large portion of her mind. Taking a walk would be benificial. Some fresh air and sunlight would do her good. 

Eleven waved a goodbye to Joyce before beginning to head to the forest, late August sun hotly baking her skin. She hadn't bothered to put shoes on. She preferred the feeling of the grass benethe her feet. It, in every way, felt more natural that way. 

When walking, Bandit didn't bark or yank. He, instead, walked steadily with El. 

As El entered onto the thin, deer-made path that lead into the forest, she took a deep breath; allowing for her lungs to fill with perfumed swirls of pine, tree-sap, and other pleasantries that came with the woods. Birds sung and trees swayed, easing her mind into a more comfortable state of lull. 

After a few minutes of walking, Eleven spotted a small creek. When surrounded by so much inherient peace, it's far easier to lessen your worries. But that doesn't mean the forest extinguishes all anxieties. That seedling of upset, of fear, still remained. 

Eleven took a seat on the forest floor, back pressed against the rough bark as her fingers trailed through tree sap. Her future was no longer her own- if it'd ever truly been hers to begin with. 

Bandit took the time to sniff around some, never straying too far for El as he did so.

Eleven allowed for her eyes to close and for her chest to slowly rise. She had options. She needed to remember that she had options. Reminding herself that nothing was set in stone was easier said, but it did help to still racing thoughts. 

She kept in mind that Mike may not be as upset as she imagines him to be, and that this might not be something that destroys her. She's not ruined, and neither is her future. 

The thing about her future is that she had truly no idea what it looked like. When she thought about it, she saw nothing more than a dark void. It hadn't always been like that, though. Her future once had Hopper, Mike, and even her powers in it. But, one way or another, those things were gone now. 

Having a kid of her own wasn't ever something she'd even conceptualized. Hell- just a week ago, she didn't even know how babies were made. 

Eleven opened her eyes. She knew she didn't need a test to verify what she thought was wrong with her. Now, however, she did need to think of a way to get to Mike so she could tell him. He had a right to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this chapter being a lil shorter than the norm, but given i wouldn't be able to update on wednesday for this week, i figured it'd be better to just whip something up to post haha. feel free to give me your thoughts and helpful criticism :)
> 
> edit from september 8th : just wanted to stop by and say i’m currently rewriting this story, which is why i haven’t updated on it :) i plan on going through each chapter & fixing / adding to them. i’m sorry for the wait, but i just really want to better this story before adding more to it. anyway, thanks for being patient <3

**Author's Note:**

> alright so uh haha   
> i have no idea where im taking this story. it's a concept i've thought a lot about and have finally decided to act on. feel free to tell me what you think of this chapter! i always appreciate a lil constructive criticism :)


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